kids....

When I told you I had a dream about being pregnant....
You told me that, thats not what we need right now....
I fucking know I wouldnt be able to handle a kid right now, shit.
But you... you telling me thats not what 'we' need right now?
dude, If I REALLY wanted a kid, I'd go get a fucking loan, and go adopt my own kid!
You can not,... can not! tell me thats not what 'we' need right now.
you can tell me thats not what 'you' need.

Jared,... it was a dream.... a... DREAM!
Like,.... I cant even kid around my dad about that stuff... I cant even tell you I had a dream. I cant say anything without you two like, telling me what im allowed to do, when im allowed to do it, and how im allowed to think it.
Im only allowed to tell you 'IF or WHEN I have kids'

Like, I dont even want kids anymore.


My last relationship.... It was 'when WE have kids... we're gonna have kids, we're gonna get married when I come back' and that wasnt coming from me... that was coming from him.

We've talked about kids,.... I've never said I wanted your kids.... maybe this is why.... Because if I had, and every time you'd just say 'this isnt what we need right now' well idk what I'd do with myself. Im sorry I said that though. I didnt mean to really say that. I said it cause I was hurt... and I felt like you were hurting me on purpose

Its like, if you even wanted to be with me forever, its like, if you said you had a dream that we were married,...
and all I said was:
:/ Thats not what we need right now.


Seriously! How do you think that made me feel?