Love Me

Im not bringing up stuff, or complaining, or anything....
Im trying to open up my feelings to you since we havnt talked in a while....
Like really 'talked talked'

So I will write...
and you probably wont like it.
Because to you, it'll just sound like Im complaining.

"Sometimes I just want to shut off our phones....
Just so you and me could talk online more...
Tell each other how much we miss each other...
write to the world how much we love each other...
To pay more attention to each other, when we're with each other...

Sometimes I want to take away the car....
Just so we could feel how valuable our time is with each other...
Willing to get as much change just to see each other...
To feel the love for each other, by how much we get worried about each other going home alone...

Sometimes....
I wish I wasnt so love...
I wish I could 'man up'...
I wish I didnt want to be the princess...
I wish there was no such thing as tears...
I wish there was no such thing as pain..
or hope
or wishes

Sometimes...
I wish we were from back in the day...
Where we'd both be working hard, and the best thing in the world is to sit at the table with your wife, husband, and kids.
Where there was no television...
Where there were no cars...
Where cheating on your loved one, was something that got you killed...
Where people took the time to write, and mail letters...
Where love was the strongest thing ever...."


I was watching that 'cheesy robin hood' [as you would say] and a guy was paying the church to be with his wife [I didnt really follow why]
and he was so poor... every time he made ANYTHING... even 12 shillings, he would run there, just to pay to get his wife from the church, so he could finally get married to her.


You are so busy with seeing me, that I dont notice that you dont have time for romance... but more time of 'seeing me'
Your always talking to me, that I dont notice you dont have time to talk about me,... but more of talking 'to me'
Your so busy telling me you love me, that I dont notice you dont you dont have time to tell the world you love me,... but more time of telling 'me' you love me.

So there for, I worry, I complain, Im in pain, I doubt, I wonder, I cry, I beg, I seek, I pleed, I try, I show, I hurt, and all in all, I dont see a change.

But like I said, your too busy being with me, that everything else 'must be canceled out' because as long as your with me... you dont have to tell the world, you dont have to be romantic, or you dont have to talk 'about me' right?

My life revolves around you. I dont want to do things... without you there, but I have to...
As you do too...

I just want too much in life, and I just miss how things used to be.
I miss seeing you post about me.... ALL THE TIME...
but you dont even care to go online anymore... you just want to talk to me.
I miss you wanting to get on the bus.... just to see me for an hour or two...
I miss you comming into my room and surprising me...

I feel like if something happened to us...
I feel like you were the first to tell me you loved me, and you'd be the first one to stop saying it...
as I was the last to say I loved you...
and I'd be the last to say it between us.

I just miss you so much...
and I feel like you dont miss me as much.
I feel like I love you so much more...
More than you love me.


In the past few days you missed:
Me dancing with just your red sweater on, and no underwear...
Me hugging your sweater when I go to bed...
Me sleeping next to a pillow now, cause it makes me feel less alone...
Me watching a bunch of movies alone...
Me job searching... alone...
And.... me...
being alone.

I miss you so much =[ and whenever I say 'I wish I could see you' all you can do is 'i cant take days off, not this late in the season!' blah blah blah....

I wish I could see you tonight, but your probably not wanting to because you have work in the morning...
but I do.... DO hope I get to see you wednesday night, and thursday...
and I hope you get to come with me on saturday
but if you have work saturday, I understand...

I love you and miss you