drugs...

I dont know where else to post this...
If I could, I'd go back to Turlock right now, to get away, but going there wont help anymore...
nothings the same.

Unicorns...
They are said to be pure...

Unicorns have a lot of meaning to me...
Sometimes I think that theres other reasons other than taking care of my mom, that I have never done drugs, or dont drink...
And I live off of that...
That maybe because I dont do that, that there is something more for me...

And than I notice that all the drug addicts,... all the stoners, all the people who drink a lot... well, they have more friends, are always more fun...
Why do the pure people seem boring?
Is it the thing to be on drugs all the time?
Is it the new thing to choose drugs over friends and family?
Maybe teen pregnancy isnt that bad...
Parents who are always high off of something are...

You know whats funny? All my friends in Turlock were never on drugs...
Sure they all drank alot, but at the time, no one was an alcoholic... Just drank for fun.

There is nothing you can do about drug addicts.... except to not have them in your life....
Sometimes thats what I wish... to have every drug addict to just not talk to me.
I dont want to say how I really feel.... Because if I said it, than I dont think you'd talk to me.

But than there are times when I think 'maybe I should just be on drugs than, if everyone else is doing it' And to tell you the truth, I have never felt this pressured... and no one even asks me! and I still feel pressured...
I dont want to blame anyone, but If I were somewhere else, Im sure I wouldnt feel this pressured....

And Im kinda ashamed of myself for even thinking that....