Trying to think...

Im trying to think of what to say in your last blog...
Its not going to be this one, but the next one....
Maybe it might not...
maybe one day you'll randomly pop into my head, and I'll just think of something to write about you.
I havnt gotten out of bed today yet....
Its saturday... and shit always goes down between us the night of deathwish
We fucked up, and there is no going back. Your probably happy about it. I havnt decided if I am yet or not.
Me and Matthew dont talk anymore...
I felt bad yesterday for not giving your CD when Starr came up and asked...
She was cute.... dressed up as hitgirl

I wish we could still be friends, but you dont want to be, so Im not going to act like a friend.... however I love you and always will, and you know that, so I'll still be here for you. But I dont want you to be here for me.... I dont want you to worry about me.... I dont want anything. Your the one who doesnt want to be friends, and took this all too out of control, and want all your stuff back, you threatened to break into my house, so I dont want to be apart of your life... I want you to be apart of my life, but I dont want to be in your mind....
you said your not like the other boys..... Jared.... I love you, but look in the mirror.... and say that again.

In all honesty, I dont want to give your stuff back, because they are all that I have left of you..... and giving them back is like loosing apart of me.... even tho I've already lost you, they are all that I have to hold onto....

but they are your things, even tho you gave them to me....
idk what you have of mine....
I'd like to be talked about one day, like you did with jennifer...
but giving each other everything back is just like acting like we never had anything,... and we never loved each other..

and like we didnt even exist