Bleed bleed die die

Im sooo stressed out.... that its not even funny.
sometimes I just want to give up.... and just die....
I really do.
I just want to disappear, but but I dont want chip to get that satisfaction of winning....
One day I want things to go MY way..... What am I doing so wrong?!?!
Im grateful for having Jared, yes,.. but why is everything else pulling me down?

Its like Im being pulled under the water, and im so far down that Jared just cant reach me,.... but the fact that I can see the blurry figure of him is the only thing keeping me fighting...
I dont feel alone... I feel like my enemy is right here next to me,... I can feel him.. I can feel him pulling me down, but thats not the company that I want... That small blurry figure is the only comfort Im getting.....
I wish he was right here next to me all the time, but that is impossible with the way his mom is, and the way my dad is.




I dont feel like posting more on myspace




What do people call you?
Krystalle or Kiddo

Think of the last person you texted; who is it and are they important to you?
Derrick, and we are just friends sorta

Have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem?
sometimes I feel like I should

Have you ever been kissed in a car?
what a stupid question

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
both, lots, but yea

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
yea, texts from Jared

Last piercing you got?
ear

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and be happy?
yes

Do you like to cuddle?
Yea

What do you carry with you at all time?
my phone and ID

Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
um..... its SUPER old

Is there someone you wouldn't mind punching in the face right now?
o.O i'd punch him so hard if i could

Do you like your parents?
sure and its parent.. just wish he'd be more understanding especially when it comes to guys I like

Think of the last person you told "I love you" to, did you mean it?
ronnie? ya

Kissed anybody this year starting with D?
derrick donnie duaine damien [shhhh, only you and rich know that]

Reason of the last tear shed?
stressed out

Does anyone call you babe, bub or baby?
all the time

Ever had a guy bestfriend?
dur

Do you have any secrets?
mmm.... yea

If your parents read your texts right now would you be in trouble?
yea..... shit with chip

Is there someone that can always make you laugh?
damien for sure, and jared... if im with him in person =/

Who is the last person that called you?
damien

Was 2009 a good year for you?
parts

Do you hate the last girl/boy you had a conversation with?
no

Could you go a day without eating?
ya

Does it make you mad when people stare at you?
yes.... I hate it when people stare at me

Has anyone ever told you that you look older than you really are?
lol they say I look 16

Do you like your hair?
no

In three words, describe your night last night?
omg, the best! till I had to leave jared =[

How long is your hair?
not long enough

What song are you listening to right now?
not listening to any music

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with an R or M?
ronnie and I dont think i've kissed an M

What are your plans for tonight?
going to bed early to go fishing tomorrow morning

What do you want most right now?
to be with him right now, and for the two to pay me, and NEVER TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN IN THEIR WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!!

What was the last thing you ate?
part of a burrito from lastnight

Do you know anybody with the same birthday as you?
yea

Would you rather go back a week or go forward?
back a week

When do you want to die?
right.... now

When’s the next time you will kiss someone?
monday hopefully

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?
dur

Is your phone right next to you, or at least close by?
mhm

Who’s house did you go to last?
jareds

Do any of your friends dislike each other?
dont care

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
lol dur

Are you in a good mood?
not one bit at all!!!

Do you think ex’s can remain friends?
some

Were you single on your last birthday?
asked out

Are you starting to realize anything?
not to trust people, and some people are better off dead

Are you currently looking forward to anything?
meh getting my car, seeing ronnie and rich and D

When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over?
only if I like it

How’s that going for you?
your retarded

Who’s the first person you spoke to in 2010?
bass?

Do you ever want to get married?
mhm

How was your Saturday night?
its not going so well

What color shirt are you wearing?
black and gray

Are you ticklish?
yea, but I kinda HATE being tickled

What’s on your bedroom floor right now?
a pillow and a towel, and the cat litter

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
idk, cali or england or the Philippines or Ireland

Do you think people actually read these surveys?
yea

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
dad

What was the last thing you and your mom talked about?
I think it was how I'll be right back....





sigh,.... why.... why god, why?